Last Post Wins

[IkeCat]

What goes Mark, Mark,Mark?





A hair lipped dog

[blueboss]

What goes Mark, Mark,Mark?





A hair lipped dog

Thanks…that’s followed me around my whole life.


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[blueboss]

Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree that's draped in bacon. "A bacon tree !

We're saved!" He says.

He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets.
It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.


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[blueboss]

A group of four-year-olds were trying hard to get used to school. The biggest challenge? The teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
“You need to use Big People words,” she reminded them.
“John, what did you do over the weekend?”
“I went to visit my Nana.”
“No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use Big People words!”
Then she asked Mitchell.
“I took a ride on a choo-choo.”
“No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use Big People words!”
Then she asked little Johnny.
“I read a book,” he said.
“That’s WONDERFUL! What book did you read?”
Johnny thought very hard, puffed out his chest, and proudly said:
“Winnie the Sh*t.”


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[Catfan73]

Sometimes I get this weird feeling that I was a goat in a former life.

It’s been happening ever since I was a kid.

[blueboss]

Ran into a lamp post this morning…

I sustained only light injuries.


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[Catfan73]

I swear my dog is crazy. He loves to chase people on horseback.

I’m thinking of making him a little saddle.

[blueboss]

A man walks into a zoo, the only animal in the whole zoo was a dog…

It was a shitzu…


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[blueboss]

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore, the ducks keep biting him.

I should have known, he’s pure bred.


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[Catfan73]

There’s an opening for a clown with the circus but I’m not sure if I should take it or not. The guy that retired left some big shoes to fill.