So... I don't know if I should tell this story or not

[Darrell KSR]

Last night I heard voices while I was sleeping.

Or, rather, a tiny voice.

I woke up.

Turned to my nightstand and the voice was coming from my phone, which was on, but turned upside down as it always is/as I left it 3 hours earlier.

I reached for the phone, and grabbed it. The voice wasn't loud, but loud enough, and I saw that the phone was showing a telephone number.

I immediately thought, how did I screw up and answer the phone? Who was on the other end? Was it a wrong number? An emergency?

The number was not one I recognized. It wasn't even our area code. Not one of the four Alabama area codes. Not Mississippi, where my son goes to school or Ohio where my daughter lives, or Georgia where my youngest daughter goes to school, or Louisiana, where my in-laws, and numerous relatives live.

It was California.

I'm thinking it must be a drunk student of mine. They have my cell number, and I tell them I turn off the ringer when I go to bed.

All of this in like a second goes through my mind.

I then determine that the voice is actually a voice mail, as I am rushing to hang up the phone.

Voice mail?

I hang up, and look at my call history. Shows a 22 second phone call to this California phone number at 2:45 a.m. Exactly at 2:45 a.m.

That I made.

It was an outgoing call.

My phone, which was laying face down on top of a gun safe on top of my night stand for three hours, and not at all close to me, made a call to California and reached someone's voice mail.

I did not make the call.

I sat there, looking at the phone, befuddled, as I noticed something else in the call history.

My phone didn't make one random telephone call at 2:45 a.m.

It made three.

That was the 3rd call, all registering at exactly 2:45 a.m.

The other two calls were to the same number in Massachusetts. One showed unconnected, the other outgoing for 33 seconds.

Those two calls were placed at 2:45 a.m., then a 3rd call made to a different number, also at 2:45 a.m.

Weird as crap, and a little unsettling.

So I rebooted my phone. Logically, something was getting its wires crossed to cause that, and since I rarely turn my phone off it was time for a reboot anyway.

Later that morning after I woke up, I did some research.

I have every phone number I have ever dialed on this phone.

The California number has never, ever been called, nor has it ever called me. I did not quickly locate the identity of the owner of that number, although I will try again.

The Massachusetts number was easy to explain, though. It called me earlier in the day (Staples Advantage).

But absolutely no explanation for how, or why, it dialed three numbers by itself, sitting on my nightstand. Or why it chose those two different numbers to call.

Kinda freaky.

[BigBluePappy]

Kinda?
May have to install a motion sensitive camera like you used to have outside; good luck selling that to Mrs. C.

Did your phone recently go through an update or is there an app you do not recognize in your apps/programs settings?

[dan_bgblue]

I recommend burying that phone and getting another one that is not haunted. Collect 7 medium sized chicken feathers from a local farm and put them in a # 6 brown paper bag, then search the nearby woods for 42 strands of squirrel fur and place it in the bag, locate 3 receipts for gasoline purchases that do not belong to you and are hanging out of the gas pumps at a local walmart and put them in the bag, purchase a 3 piece fish dinner from long john silvers and place that the bag, place 19 brand new shiny pennies in the bag, and last but certainly not the least is the cell phone into the bag it goes, and seal shut with 2 inch wide, clear packing tape.

If you have a pair of post hole diggers go into your back yard on a night during the dark of the moon and dig a hole 17 inches deep, insert brown paper bag and all of its contents, replace most of the dirt in the hole and take the remaining dirt into the front yard and scatter it out evenly around the yard. If you do not have a pair of post hole diggers buy a pair ASAP as digging the hole with any other implement including a silver kitchen spoon, will not work.

I knew I needed to tell you about the spoon as they work for digging most holes but in this case, no matter ow deep you dig the hole with the spoon and bury the spoon along with the bag, you will find both of them on your night stand when you go back into your bedroom.

Buy a new phone and take to the nearest Catholic church. This step does not require you to be Catholic, but it does help if you can fake it. Enter the confessional and relate this story including the burial to the priest asking for forgiveness, then ask him to bless your new phone. The last thing you need to do is stop eating a box of ding dongs before bed.

[kingcat]

I recommend burying that phone and getting another one that is not haunted. Collect 7 medium sized chicken feathers from a local farm and put them in a # 6 brown paper bag, then search the nearby woods for 42 strands of squirrel fur and place it in the bag, locate 3 receipts for gasoline purchases that do not belong to you and are hanging out of the gas pumps at a local walmart and put them in the bag, purchase a 3 piece fish dinner from long john silvers and place that the bag, place 19 brand new shiny pennies in the bag, and last but certainly not the least is the cell phone into the bag it goes, and seal shut with 2 inch wide, clear packing tape.

If you have a pair of post hole diggers go into your back yard on a night during the dark of the moon and dig a hole 17 inches deep, insert brown paper bag and all of its contents, replace most of the dirt in the hole and take the remaining dirt into the front yard and scatter it out evenly around the yard. If you do not have a pair of post hole diggers buy a pair ASAP as digging the hole with any other implement including a silver kitchen spoon, will not work.

I knew I needed to tell you about the spoon as they work for digging most holes but in this case, no matter ow deep you dig the hole with the spoon and bury the spoon along with the bag, you will find both of them on your night stand when you go back into your bedroom.

Buy a new phone and take to the nearest Catholic church. This step does not require you to be Catholic, but it does help if you can fake it. Enter the confessional and relate this story including the burial to the priest asking for forgiveness, then ask him to bless your new phone. The last thing you need to do is stop eating a box of ding dongs before bed.

Good advice Dan.
A tremendous side benefit is that you won't have a wart anywhere on you, your kids, or grand kids for seven years D.....and loose weight at the same time!

[Catfan73]

Would Captain D’s work or does it have to be Long John’s?

I buried some Papa John’s once but for different reasons. It just sucks.

[dan_bgblue]

A gypsy witch gave me the instructions so I am not sure about the fried fish supplier question.

[kingcat]

[dan_bgblue]

I don't mess with people or witches that live in hollow logs.