What's your social security number?

**Darrell KSR** · 12-30-2022, 10:42 AM

Sigh.

So for months I've been receiving emails from a company--let's call them "NotSoWisely," just for fun. The company addresses each email to a person who happens to have the first initial of my name, but a name completely different than mine.

The email advises that a deposit has been made to their card.

It gives me their first name.
It gives me the amount of their deposit.
It gives me their last 4 digits of their card.
It probably gives me their last name, or an easy ability to figure that out.

What does it not give me?

An ability to unsubscribe or an ability to respond to the email. "This is an automated message," it states. "Please do not reply – no one will see it! But if you need assistance, or believe you received this message in error, please call XXX-XX-XXXX."

So after weeks or months of receiving these emails, and with no ability to unsubscribe, and no ability to respond to the email, I called the number they gave.

It's automated. Because, of course it is.

The automated message gives me several options. All of the options require me to type in my account number.

Of course, I do not have an account number.

I then luck into another option. I can type in my social security number. Of course, that would be used to ... yep, tie it to the account. Which I do not have with them.

After continually pressing the * button, the # button, and the "0" button, it finally tells me that the next available representative will be with me shortly.

After a few minutes, she arrives. She asks me my name. I tell her. She asks how she can help. I tell her. Of course, they work off a script. So the dance begins.

"OK, so you're receiving emails belonging to someone else."

Yes.

"What is your name."

I've given it already, and will give it again, but why do you need it?

"So I can see your old account."

I don't have an account. I don't know who you are. I've never had an account with you.

"Oh, ok. What is the last 4 digits of your social security number?"

That, I tell her, I'm not going to give you. Why in the world would you need my social security number?

"So I can look up your account," she says. I swear to all heaven, that's what she said.

I don't have an account. I don't know who you are. I've never had an account with you.

I explain again why I called to refresh her memory, and to allow her to reset her mind so that she has a better understanding.

"I see," she tells me. I am unconvinced. "What is the first name of our customer?"

I tell her.

"What is the last name of our customer?"

Sigh. I don't know, because that isn't there. I can guess--she tells me not to guess. So I don't.

"Are you sure you don't have any connection with our customer?" I tell her I am positive I do not, that it is completely in error--either on their part, or their customer's part when they signed up for that service.

"Why don't you unsubscribe," she asks me, this time, genuinely exercising independent thought apart from the script. Because, you know, there's no ability to unsubscribe because they do not have an unsubscribe link that would remedy that.

I explain that would be a great idea, if only they had an unsubscribe link in their email.

"There's no unsubscribe link?" she asks. Apparently I need to repeat it, or maybe she was treading water trying to think of the next thing to do.

Nope, I affirm. Instead, the email offers this option-- "But if you need assistance, or believe you received this message in error, please call XXX-XXX-XXXX." I repeat what I told her before.

"I can't help you if you can't give me your account number," she says quite defiantly, as if I'm just refusing to give her something out of my own obstinance.

I don't have an account number with you because I don't have an account with you, I've never had an account with you, I do not know who your customer is, I've never met your customer, I don't have any connection with your customer. The only thing I know is that I received this email message in error, and your email says if I received the email message in error, to call this number. So I called this number, managed somehow to get to a live person even though every option required me to input either my account number or the social security number, and here I am.

Now what? It's your email, your message, your telephone number, and your customer's private information going to the wrong place.

Click.

Yes, we were disconnected at that very moment. What are the odds she just hung up on me?

And that's how my 2022 is ending.