Nowhere else on the internet to put this

[CGWildcat]

Hey friends. I know there's not a lot of traffic here so I figure this is a place to just let it out.

My ex-wife, the mother of my 2 adult children is about to pass. She's not been given but hours at this point. Cancer. SKIN cancer....she had an ugly mole on her leg, about 5-6 yrs ago she waited about 2-3 months to get checked. I've been mad at her for waiting so long to get checked. By the time she did, it was at stage 3.

We divorced in '98 after 12 yrs together. I've hated her for oh so long, but really think I was just hating myself and used her to make me feel better. I'm just trying to help my kids with it all and be respectful for them. She's remarried, very nice guy, was always nice to my kids.

She and I sorta made our peace in 2015 at my son's wedding. We laughed, joked, told stories and hugged at the end of the night. She had the cancer then, had multiple surgeries by that time and was walking with a cane and sometimes just a wheelchair.

Doctors told her they felt like they got most of it from her lymph nodes in '14, but melanoma is mean, it will show back up. Late last year it did. It's rapidly shown back up, and in just a few months has wrapped its ugliness on her spine, ribs and legs. She's been unable to walk at all for about a month.

My kids went to her bedside in Ohio last week to help her enjoy her 54th birthday. Today I wake up to my daughter looking for someone to care for their animals while they drive to Ohio.

My daughter wrote me and said "Moms not doing good. She's no longer responsive, not eating, eyes dilated, low blood pressure....we aren't expecting her to make it to the end of the week." Then an hour later, she wrote again to say, funeral arrangements are being made, her sisters and parents and husband are with her. She's not expected to make it through the night.

I'm not mad anymore. I'm sad for so many things. She was a good woman, but we weren't right for each other. I was an ass. Too many differences and my mom told me I was going to marry her when she was pregnant with our daughter. Yesterday the 24th, would have been our 33 year anniversary, if I would have just realized what love looked like back then.

My relationship with my daughter is strained at best but amicable. Her mom felt obliged to tell her so much about our marriage. I've never uttered a word against her from the things she did. It doesn't matter.

I just keep telling my daughter how much I love her and I'm here anytime she wants to talk or just cry. My son is taking it hard also, but in a different way. He and I are closer.

Good night Teresa.

[Darrell KSR]

God bless, Roger. That's a ton of emotion there. God bless her and you and your family and her friends.

[catmanjack]

So Sorry to hear the news, God Bless!

[CGWildcat]

And just like that.....she's gone. This was at my son's wedding. They're last dance together. Attachment 8135

[BigBluePappy]

May God Bless and Comfort you in the days to come as only He can.
Reflect on the good and positive for your sake and your kid's sake.

[UKFlounder]

Sorry to read this and sorry I don't have better words to offer you and your family.

You have my full sympathy and best wishes for dealing with this loss and all the memories.

Please vent here all you want, as far as I am concerned

[KentuckyWildcat]

Prayers for all!

[kingcat]

God bless you and your children, and grant her the Kingdom of Heaven.

Just a little bit of faith can move any mountain. It also completely takes the sting from dying and prevents any victory for the grave. Christ Himself taught us that.

Those of us left however, still grieve over our temporary separation. And the pain our friends and loved ones must endure.

[CGWildcat]

Thanks guys. I appreciate all the comments. I grieve not so much for her, but for my children who have to go bury their mom now. My son and I just had a 90 minute phone call. He'll be fine. I've briefly chatted with my daughter on FB. She is also on the way to Ohio from Utah with her husband and 3 kids.

[Doc]

Man, sorry to read this. Had not opened this thread til today.

People change, including oursleves. We evolve and mature..even when old. Hate is an ulgy emotion that rots you from the inside out. Its not the target of the hate that is destroyed but the one who hates. Glad you came to peace with your emotions

[KSRBEvans]

Just seeing this, Coastie. So sorry--that is tough. It's tough when we see the mistakes we made when we were younger and can't go back and fix. I'm glad you were able to reach closure with her before she passed. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your kids.

[KeithKSR]

I’m just now reading this. Sorry for your loss, Roger. Prayers for the family. I’m glad you all were able to make peace.

[DanISSELisdaman]

Sorry for your loss! Praying for you and your family!

[suncat05]

Prayers offered up for ALL of you. Condolences. And hoping that He welcomes her into Heaven with open arms.