let's talk manners, or the lack of

[Doc]

I always chuckle at this....

my morning routine is head to Panera for my coffee and bagel. As those who have been to Panera know, their stores are like their bagels... all the same. They have a door, an alcove and a second door. Whenever the opportunity presents itself I hold the door for any patron arriving at the same time. Usually I'll hurry to get there first so I can hold it for them and let them go ahead of me, etc. Now to me, common sense would say that the courtesy would be reciprocated at the second door, right? But in probably 10 years that has happened maybe 10 times. And then when you get inside and into the order line the person whom I held the door for grabs the next spot in line. Twice I can recall the person I held the door for said "you go ahead, you were here first". None of this make me angry or made, in fact I find it amusing.

But what does make me mad is roadway manners. People on the roads are just assholes. A couple weeks back, the road out front of my work was backed up, as usual, such that cars could not get thru the intersection. I was car #1 so despite having a green light I stopped prior to the intersection so as not to block it. The light turned yellow then red. The lady behind start waving and flailing. Now keep in mind, the car in front of me was just barely thru the intersection so had I gone I'd have blocked the crossing street. Now the light cycles, cross cars go, on coming have an arrow so they can turn and my light goes green but I still have nowhere to go because the car in front of me has not moved. There are still oncoming cars turning left and I sit to allow them to turn. Now this lady is going apeshit. She swings to the left of me into the left turn lane and pass me (of course I then move up into the intersection so she can't get in)...and she is cursing....and I sort of lost it (told her I would "c you next Tuesday" (some will know what that means, if not, dont sweat it) but let her in once the light at the next intersection changes so we can move. She gave me the finger more than once. But it was more important that she block the interaction and not let the people cross or turn than be courteous. Its stuff like that that blows my mind

[Darrell KSR]

Doc, I have the "intersection" issue come up fairly regularly. Twenty years ago, I foolishly followed the crowd, and got 90% of the way through an intersection. A car behind me followed me and blocked the intersection of a busy roadway (Highway 280 in Birmingham--I know you know it). A police car pulled him over, and came to my car, and asked me to hang around and wait.

I didn't know what for, but he wrote me a ticket as well. I'm not positive I was blocking the intersection, but I wasn't all the way through, either.

He gave me a lecture about how important it was to keep that intersection clear in case an emergency vehicle needed to get through, and when he was done I felt awful for blocking it, even a little. So I'm careful now not to do it.

And of course, I get ten gazillion jack-o-lanterns that honk their horns, wave their arms, give me one-finger salutes, etc. Most of them think I'm not paying attention, I guess. I usually wave my arm up in the air so they can see it and know I'm paying attention, and just wait.

The Panera Bread one is interesting. It would make a great study in human behavior. I am intrigued by the differences in people--somebody that wouldn't open the 2nd door for you after you opening it? What would the percentage be of people that do that?

[Doc]

I always thought about that study too. Again, it's not something that bothers me, just interesting. Even the nicest people dont do it. I actual enjoy being nice to people...in person, not on the internet. there I'm an ass

[CitizenBBN]

I do hate people who gridlock. I have done it but not by intent, I try to wait and judge if traffic is going to clear. I've missed a few times but not a lot.

What I hate mostly is IMO the simpliest of all: getting over in the right hand lane on the interstate. I get when you're passing people, and I even speed up good to get out of the way in that situation, but a lot of times there's plenty of room and people are just driving in that lane. It's easy enough to get around them in that case, it's just not polite, or following the rules.

But my biggest peeve is just people being on the road, mostly in front of me. Just get the hell out of my way, I have crap to do.

[blueboss]

I do hate people who gridlock. I have done it but not by intent, I try to wait and judge if traffic is going to clear. I've missed a few times but not a lot.

What I hate mostly is IMO the simpliest of all: getting over in the right hand lane on the interstate. I get when you're passing people, and I even speed up good to get out of the way in that situation, but a lot of times there's plenty of room and people are just driving in that lane. It's easy enough to get around them in that case, it's just not polite, or following the rules.

But my biggest peeve is just people being on the road, mostly in front of me. Just get the hell out of my way, I have crap to do.

Don’t get me started on people driving continuously in the fast lane... that’s my biggest pet peeve! I believe the rule is, move over for faster moving traffic and/or use the left lane only for passing slower moving vehicles. I love the people who because they are driving exactly the speed limit feel they’ve met the requirement for being in the left lane ( or the “show off”lane as my BIL calls it).

I swear, more times than not, the vehicle in the left lane holding things up usually has North Carolina tags... first in flight my ass!!

The other being people not getting over in the left lane to allow vehicles entering the interstate on an on ramp. The on ramp situation can be compounded by people not knowing how to enter the flow of traffic from the on ramp.

... but like you, I also need people to see me coming and get the hell out of the way.


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[Doc]

I do hate people who gridlock. I have done it but not by intent, I try to wait and judge if traffic is going to clear. I've missed a few times but not a lot.

What I hate mostly is IMO the simpliest of all: getting over in the right hand lane on the interstate. I get when you're passing people, and I even speed up good to get out of the way in that situation, but a lot of times there's plenty of room and people are just driving in that lane. It's easy enough to get around them in that case, it's just not polite, or following the rules.

But my biggest peeve is just people being on the road, mostly in front of me. Just get the hell out of my way, I have crap to do.

If we are going there.....


you got a line of 15 cars doing 85 and the lead car going 60, OK, that's a pisser. but then you got the A-hole coming up from.the rear doing 95 and gets 2 inches from your rear bumper because that's going to make you go faster. Your car 8 in the line, a car and a half length back and this douche then cuts around you and jams in front of you so he is now 7 and your 8....great!

[Darrell KSR]

If we are going there.....


you got a line of 15 cars doing 85 and the lead car going 60, OK, that's a pisser. but then you got the A-hole coming up from.the rear doing 95 and gets 2 inches from your rear bumper because that's going to make you go faster. Your car 8 in the line, a car and a half length back and this douche then cuts around you and jams in front of you so he is now 7 and your 8....great!

I was returning home from visiting my daughter and taking a different route (there's no direct route there, but a million different ones, and I've only tried 19 of them so far, it seems). Anyway, we're on a two-lane highway that has "passing lanes" every few miles. Great, not a problem. You can always pass someone if you are patient, very safely, when that pops up.

There's a slow truck driving about 45 on this road that everybody else wants to drive 60-65, so we're stuck behind him for a few miles. No big deal, and I keep a safe 3 car lengths or so behind him. I think they say you're supposed to be one car length for every 10 mph, and I'm not quite that, but safe.

This jackass pickup truck gets on my rear like I'm supposed to ride the car's rear ahead of me--which can't go anywhere due to the multitude of cars in a line behind the truck, which EVERYBODY can see--and then he decides he's going to pass on a hill. I hit the brakes so he can pass me easily, which is good because there comes a car flying on the other side, and he just makes it safely in front of me.

We go about 3 more miles--he stays exactly where he is, in front of me--and then the passing lane opens. I think, "man, he's going to fly now." Nope, he speeds up to about 60, I fly by him (I'm not going to say exactly what speed I go, but my tires always touch the ground, which I cannot say for CitizenBBN, having ridden with him before), and he shoots the finger at me as I pass him.

Like I was the one who did something wrong.

Sheesh.

[Darrell KSR]

I do hate people who gridlock. I have done it but not by intent, I try to wait and judge if traffic is going to clear. I've missed a few times but not a lot.

What I hate mostly is IMO the simpliest of all: getting over in the right hand lane on the interstate. I get when you're passing people, and I even speed up good to get out of the way in that situation, but a lot of times there's plenty of room and people are just driving in that lane. It's easy enough to get around them in that case, it's just not polite, or following the rules.

But my biggest peeve is just people being on the road, mostly in front of me. Just get the hell out of my way, I have crap to do.

Yeah, I don't always get it right, either. But I try pretty hard. It's much more rare today than it was 20 years ago, when I just went with the flow until it stopped.

I haven't recently, but I used to read a radar detector forum regularly. Some very interesting guys there that enjoy driving their cars at speeds they believe are very safe, but not necessarily consistent with an artificially posted "limit of speed." They continue to maintain--and post many articles--the biggest issue with cars on roads (not counting drunk and distracted driving, etc.) isn't speeding, but guys who are either unaware of their speed, or guys who create artificial barriers--such as driving slowly in the "passing" lane and not moving over.

In most states, there's actually a law that is not enforced very often that require you to move over if there are other cars driving at a speed faster than you. It's a lot safer that way.

And for the record, I'm convinced they are right. I've read propaganda on both sides, and at least for the "normal" speeder--maybe the guy going 90, rather than 70--I think they're safe on good highways. Now, if they're doing 140, I might have a quibble or four.

[blueboss]

I’m an 80-85 guy, with a radar detector. I learned if you’re going much faster than that when the detector goes off you still have to safely slow down to an acceptable limit.

Having just come back fro FL I found that the acceptable limit was around 80... I got detected a couple of times and I was given a pass running right around 80... with a posted limit of 70. Basically 10 over seemed acceptable, in good driving conditions.


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[Darrell KSR]

I’m an 80-85 guy, with a radar detector. I learned if you’re going much faster than that when the detector goes off you still have to safely slow down to an acceptable limit.

Having just come back fro FL I found that the acceptable limit was around 80... I got detected a couple of times and I was given a pass running right around 80... with a posted limit of 70. Basically 10 over seemed acceptable, in good driving conditions.


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My detector is set to chime at 85, which my wife likes--and hates. It keeps me "honest," I guess. I get the worst glances if it goes off, though.

[kingcat]

A study should be done on the McDonald's dual drive thru order window lanes.
I think the police should write citations to those who refuse to use the marked approach lane and pass to try and cut into the outside order lane.
Eventually no one can exit the parking lot because of two jammed lanes of drive thru traffic. And that one individual looks back at everyone like "what caused that?"

I believe there should be a camera showing those who do such and their vehicle on a large screen monitor. And hungry kids crying in the back of courteous mini van drivers who have to wait for them and their first McCafé Mocha of the day

[blueboss]

My detector is set to chime at 85, which my wife likes--and hates. It keeps me "honest," I guess. I get the worst glances if it goes off, though.

I don’t need a detector, a speedometer, or google map when my wife is with me (if you catch my drift). Plus when somebody else makes a bonehead move somehow it’s my fault.


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[Doc]

Back to Panera.......

I always chuckle at the coffee stand where the "coffee hog" does the 3/8 light roast, 1/8 dark roast , 9/16 decaf, 1/32 hazelnut, 2/5 half and half, 1/64 skim milk and a splash of 2%...... and they typically stand in line for 5 minutes then get to the counter and look at the menu and decide what they want

[Darrell KSR]

Back to Panera.......

I always chuckle at the coffee stand where the "coffee hog" does the 3/8 light roast, 1/8 dark roast , 9/16 decaf, 1/32 hazelnut, 2/5 half and half, 1/64 skim milk and a splash of 2%...... and they typically stand in line for 5 minutes then get to the counter and look at the menu and decide what they want

Lol. Does that really happen?

I was at Walmart last night and in the self checkout line. I had one item. I stood behind a woman who had numerous items, she looked back and then went to the checkout to start her checkout. No big deal, I sorta chuckled.

But the funny thing was after she was done. She had paid for everything, bagged everything, put it all in her cart, and then stood there with a long receipt in her hand, looking at it. I let her have about 30 seconds, and then just reached across her, swiped the one item (a cheap pedometer my son was using as his backup) and dropped it in the sack. She still didn't move. So I reached across her again (I was worried she'd lean forward and I'd graze her breasts) and stuck my credit card in the machine to pay. Only then did she finally decide to move lol.

[CitizenBBN]

Yeah, I don't always get it right, either. But I try pretty hard. It's much more rare today than it was 20 years ago, when I just went with the flow until it stopped.

I haven't recently, but I used to read a radar detector forum regularly. Some very interesting guys there that enjoy driving their cars at speeds they believe are very safe, but not necessarily consistent with an artificially posted "limit of speed." They continue to maintain--and post many articles--the biggest issue with cars on roads (not counting drunk and distracted driving, etc.) isn't speeding, but guys who are either unaware of their speed, or guys who create artificial barriers--such as driving slowly in the "passing" lane and not moving over.

In most states, there's actually a law that is not enforced very often that require you to move over if there are other cars driving at a speed faster than you. It's a lot safer that way.

And for the record, I'm convinced they are right. I've read propaganda on both sides, and at least for the "normal" speeder--maybe the guy going 90, rather than 70--I think they're safe on good highways. Now, if they're doing 140, I might have a quibble or four.

There's a fair body of research showing that the risk isn't the speed, but the VARIANCE of speed between vehicles, like the guy going 60 in the fast lane or just plain dumb driving.

The truth is that if you have a systems failure, the difference between 60 and 90 isn't small, but it's going to suck regardless. If everyone is going 90 you're not going to see a spike in accidents or fatalities, so long as everyone's doing basically the same speed.

it's the lane changes and starting/stopping to get around those slow drivers and bad drivers that is the issue IMO.

[CitizenBBN]

I don’t need a detector, a speedometer, or google map when my wife is with me (if you catch my drift). Plus when somebody else makes a bonehead move somehow it’s my fault.


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When I was 16 and got a car my job was to take pictures of the comps we used for appraisals, I took 30-50 a day all summer all over this town. I may not know the new neighborhoods that well, but I know this town's roads. Lived here 40 years to boot.

Yet my wife, who to this day has no idea which way is north in this city, likes to tell me which route to take when I'm driving in town.

Yeah, that never gets old.

[CitizenBBN]

(I'm not going to say exactly what speed I go, but my tires always touch the ground, which I cannot say for CitizenBBN, having ridden with him before),

I'm trying to get them to touch the ground more with some lower control arms, bc if they aren't touching I'm not accelerating.

I don't think of myself as driving fast. The earth rotates at roughly 1,000 miles per hour, how much am I really adding given that Mother Nature is such a lead foot?

[Doc]

Lol. Does that really happen?

I was at Walmart last night and in the self checkout line. I had one item. I stood behind a woman who had numerous items, she looked back and then went to the checkout to start her checkout. No big deal, I sorta chuckled.

But the funny thing was after she was done. She had paid for everything, bagged everything, put it all in her cart, and then stood there with a long receipt in her hand, looking at it. I let her have about 30 seconds, and then just reached across her, swiped the one item (a cheap pedometer my son was using as his backup) and dropped it in the sack. She still didn't move. So I reached across her again (I was worried she'd lean forward and I'd graze her breasts) and stuck my credit card in the machine to pay. Only then did she finally decide to move lol.

How many people when standing in line at the grocery store with a large number of items followed by by an individual with 1 or 2 things allow them to "go ahead"? I do this all the time but rarely see it done.

[blueboss]

How many people when standing in line at the grocery store with a large number of items followed by by an individual with 1 or 2 things allow them to "go ahead"? I do this all the time but rarely see it done.

I usually will let the one or two item person jump ahead...then invariably, they’ll pull out a check and the cashier person has to call in a mgr for approval.



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[Darrell KSR]

The check thing doesn't happened to me very regularly, but it reminded me of one of my pet peeves.

Often the person in front of me will check out, and then when the person checking them out gives them the total, they look at them in complete surprise as if they were never expected to pay.

They then unlock the vault, known as their purse, rummage through the cavernous container in search of the hidden treasure known as their wallet, and finally locate it. They then struggle with the snaps, rummage through the various card holders, and finally locate the card they are supposed to use, and hand it to the person checking them out.

After then being directed to the credit card machine they bumped while handing the card to the check-out person, they then insert it backwards, and explain that they don't know why it's not working. Eventually, the see it is inserted incorrectly, insert it properly, and then spend the rest of the time talking with the check-out person, ignoring that it is waiting for them to sign their name.

Arrghh.

[blueboss]

I’m like Doc, where 99.9% of the time I will open the door for folks meeting at the door on or around the same time I do...and for females I’ll even broaden the approach window. Is that sexist?

I was selecting tomato’s from the produce section a few weeks ago, and a guy reached across me actually shoving my a shoulder a bit to grab a tomato.

I didn’t say or do anything other than shake my head. The more I thought about it while progressing through the store the more pissed I got.

I then spotted him selecting steaks at the meat case, where I took the low road and reciprocated by reaching around him and grabbed a random steak.... he was like “excuse me” I just looked at him like he was nuts. He rolled away without any steaks.

Maybe, not my finest moment...but.


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[blueboss]

I tested the one item thing today at Kroger’s. I had one item and the ladies in front of me had 18 items in the express lane. Right before the cashier started ringing their items the lady turned and insisted I went ahead of them....




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[UKFlounder]

Similar story: I made a quick Kroger run to pick up 3 or 4 things Saturday and I approached the checkout lane at the same time as a woman, so I stopped and said go ahead, but she said “you only have a couple things, so you go first,”which I appreciated as she had a mostly full cart.

I tested the one item thing today at Kroger’s. I had one item and the ladies in front of me had 18 items in the express lane. Right before the cashier started ringing their items the lady turned and insisted I went ahead of them....


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[UKFlounder]

In terms of driving, I hate when signs show a lane is being closed but people wait until the last mi ute to try to get over. I always want to stay so close to the car in front of me that they can’t get in, but sometimes find them squeezing in front of me as I do not like tailgating others and end up leaving enough space for another car to fit in. I guess I’m better safe than sorry, but I always cuss myself out when I let that happen.

[Darrell KSR]

In terms of driving, I hate when signs show a lane is being closed but people wait until the last mi ute to try to get over. I always want to stay so close to the car in front of me that they can’t get in, but sometimes find them squeezing in front of me as I do not like tailgating others and end up leaving enough space for another car to fit in. I guess I’m better safe than sorry, but I always cuss myself out when I let that happen.

Interestingly, I read a story recently that said that was the most efficient way -- to wait until the last moment to merge in, aka, the "zipper merge." I've always been that guy that has tried to "middle" it, by not merging immediately, but not running the risk of being the jerk that waits to the last minute. Turns out, they may be the "right" ones.

Here's the article:

https://auto.howstuffworks.com/traff...pper-merge.htm

[MickintheHam]

I tested the one item thing today at Kroger’s. I had one item and the ladies in front of me had 18 items in the express lane. Right before the cashier started ringing their items the lady turned and insisted I went ahead of them....




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What bothers me at Publix is when a long line develops. They tap the last person in line to move to a newly opened line. Meanwhile if you are third or fourth in line, You stand there and wait as the guy who was last in line walks out the door.

But that is one of about a hundred things I hate about Publix, the worst grocery ever. A Whole Foods opened about equidistant from my house as Publix. I find myself buying more and more there and many of the items are cheaper and better quality than Publix. The staff is much better trained and more helpful than Publix. Did I mention that I hate Publix?

[blueboss]

What bothers me at Publix is when a long line develops. They tap the last person in line to move to a newly opened line. Meanwhile if you are third or fourth in line, You stand there and wait as the guy who was last in line walks out the door.

But that is one of about a hundred things I hate about Publix, the worst grocery ever. A Whole Foods opened about equidistant from my house as Publix. I find myself buying more and more there and many of the items are cheaper and better quality than Publix. The staff is much better trained and more helpful than Publix. Did I mention that I hate Publix?

With last in line thing, if it’s me, I always defer to the people in front of me. It usually goes about 50/50 for those who actually make the move, but those that do 99% of the time offer a genuine thanks....

... or at least what I perceive as a genuine thanks. Since I don’t usually know them from “Adam” how would I know if it’s a genuine thanks or not? but still, a thanks is a thanks...


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