Fake Breaking: UK to do away with head coach of football

[Darrell KSR]

LEXINGTON, Ky. --Following the lead of its sister SEC school to the south, Vanderbilt, Kentucky has made a bold move. While the Vanderbilt Commodores eliminated the athletic department oversight, Kentucky has taken it one step further and eliminated the head football coaching position.

"We looked at the $1.75 million dollar salary we were paying Coach Phillips," Athletic Director Mitch Barnhart explained, "And adding payroll taxes and benefits, it was a cool $2 million plus we could save by not having a football head coach. We aren't going to bowl games, competing for SEC titles, or beating Louisville anymore anyway, so what's the harm? It just adds to the bottom line."

Fans throughout the Commonwealth were disappointed, but not surprised. "I knew Mitch was a bean-counter," one fan said with a bag over his head, speaking on condition of anonymity of being identified as a Kentucky football fan, "But I never thought it would reach this point, he said shaking his bag."

Attempts to get a comment from SEC Commissioner Mike Slive were unsuccessful, but SEC Associate Commissioner Charles Bloom responded, "Kentucky still plays football? Who knew?"

A coachless-Kentucky will face Florida in Gainesville later today.

[catfan1029]

Sad but true, just listened to Joker on pre-game show, still talking about how the defense just needs to get lined up. I guess I understand what he's saying, however he sounds like he has one foot in the grave, he may be confused.

Sad, sad, sad how our football team has lost the progress that was made under Joker

[jazyd]

after all he is a Ky guy, should not have come to this, a Ky guy should never be treated like this, we are going down hill from here. MB does it have it right that we dont' compete but we are young, our talent is better, Joker hired his friends from the coaching ranks to be his staff, he brought in what some like TerryBlue felt was a brilliant mind for the DC position. It would only take a few more years and Joker would have moved us up to the 13th spot ahead of Vandy in the conference.
Think Cal could do a dual role?

[dan_bgblue]

Coach Calipari knows nothing about coaching football.

Attachment 536

Oh wait a minute maybe Mitch is right

[catfan1029]

It is totally embarrassing what has happened to our football program in such a short time. It goes back to the bowl game with Pittsburg in Jokers first year. Offense is totally stinking it up, Moss doesn't get an opportunity, thus transfers. Evidently we have no other options for Newton today.

I don't blame Newton or Joker, they can only do what they are capable of, however in Mitch Barnharts case this is totally inexcusible. If the board of trustees do not do correct this immediately, we should just say we are basketball school only and go to a conference that is better styled for us. This is not only emarrassing it is humiliating for the university. We are now the laughing stock of college football again.
Enough is enough, the SEC should kick us out of the conference if possible.

[Doc]

Coach Calipari knows nothing about coaching football.

Attachment 536

Oh wait a minute maybe Mitch is right

But he does know about what is the source of much of the football woes, recruiting.

[BigBlueBrock]

If Mitch isn't removed as AD, we might as well get rid of football altogether for real.

[Darrell KSR]

It's not *that* far-fetched

[SalsaKat]

This article seems to be operating under the mistaken assumption that UK currently has a head coach of football.

[Catfan73]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

[SalsaKat]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Try laughing. If you're like me, you're too dehydrated from the crying and need a break.

[kritikalcat]

Cal is a natural coach and recruiter. I bet if he didn't have basketball to coach, you could give him 2 years to learn the game as an assistant and he'd be a better head football coach than many of the guys doing it for 20+ years.

[SalsaKat]

Cal is a natural coach and recruiter. I bet if he didn't have basketball to coach, you could give him 2 years to learn the game as an assistant and he'd be a better head football coach than many of the guys doing it for 20+ years.

This is what I used to say about Pat Summitt. She's a natural leader. She could've coached and won championships at football, baseball, water polo, curling...

Cause if you fugg up on her watch, you regret it.