I was saddened to hear that the man who invented throat lozenges died last week.
Reports are there was no coffin at the funeral.
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I was saddened to hear that the man who invented throat lozenges died last week.
Reports are there was no coffin at the funeral.
I actually chuckled out loud while reading this in the waiting room of the dentist. Thanks
So I was in a shoe shop this morning trying on a shoe, I said to the assistant "It's too tight".
She said: "Try it with the tongue out"
I said "It'th nho ghood, itth thill thoo thight".
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All this music sampling has gotten out of hand. Now they’re using classical music. I say if it’s not baroque don’t fix it.
Despite the obvious attempt to win this thread through 'death by pun', I'm not giving up. :)
Thank goodness. We need some buffers.Quote:
Originally Posted by CitizenBBN
Catfan73 may be gone right now, but he'll be Bach...Quote:
Originally Posted by Darrell KSR
I’m actually writing a screenplay about puns. Well, it’s really more of a play on words.
You guys are wearing me out. I mean, reading all of these is truly pun-ishing.
OMG, were you bitten? Check yourself for bite marks!Quote:
Originally Posted by Darrell KSR
I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height.
They didn't like me critter sizing.
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Just checked. Hmm. https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...0a40361506.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by CitizenBBN
That was from basketball tonight. By the way, in Alabama that was not called a foul when the Alabama bred player hit my Kentucky raised arm.
In the SEC it just means means more, or it's more mean. They aren't real sure there's a difference.
Are you sure you didn’t accidentally check in to the women’s game? Somebody had some nails.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darrell KSR
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Yeah, I got scraped pretty good.
I keep my nails super short because I type all the time and cannot stand the feeling of nails hitting a keyboard. But before I play, I almost always cut my nails again just to make sure I don't do that to somebody else. Not everybody does that, though :).
Advertisement:
Joe’s Radiators
…a great place to take a leak.
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My friend Sarah left her bottle of Pepsi at a rest stop about 60 miles south of Tampa. That's where Sarah's soda is.
🤣Quote:
Originally Posted by Darrell KSR
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My doctor told me my prostate was good.
I was deeply touched.
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Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.
But catscan.
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No X-rayted jokes allowed here.Quote:
Originally Posted by blueboss
We can see right through what you’re doing…
Q: What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
A: Annette
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Man, I'm having a day. Guy tried selling me a coffin today.
Can you imagine? That's the last thing I need.
I do believe Darrell has come to the dark side! I hope you have a plethora of bad puns.
It means a lot.
I'm not very punny. I just happened to see that one on a meme video and thought it was "worthy" of this thread. I use the term "worthy" very loosely.
It's probably a little too good for this thread lately, lol.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She never showed up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
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I guess I could go to limericks, and lower the bar a bit more.
Whiskey, Whiskey…Quote:
Originally Posted by CitizenBBN
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We could do haikus
Limericks are too dirty
And hard to recall
I told my wife she drew her eyebrows on too high.
She looked surprised.
Back to winter today after a week of early summer.
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Ever wondered if we colonized Mars what it might look like? I’m thinking something like
M:A:R:S
Oh my. Just when you think you've seen the bottom...then again, I kinda think they're all sort of this level, which fits us as a group perfectly.
I tried repeating these to my cows but she didn’t understand them.
They sort of went in one ear and out the udder…
And, yes, I’ll milk this one for all it’s worth…
I’m in… put me down for:
Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages.
This is called the
Wurst Käse scenario.
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I actually laughed out loud.
Well played!Quote:
Originally Posted by blueboss
In honor of St Patrick's Day.
What do you call a bullet proof Irishman?
Rick O'Shea.
I'll see myself out now...