I spotted a solid white Dalmatian today. It seemed like the least I could do.
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I spotted a solid white Dalmatian today. It seemed like the least I could do.
A paper airplane that doesn’t fly is called stationary.
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You guys are going to drive me to drink.
Thanks for that, but still, dang.
Oh, those are so bad they're good.
Sorry, I’ve got two 14 year old grandsons, so there are a plethora of bad dad jokes available. Having said that, I’ll spare the board, and move on. On the other hand, CF sounds locked in.Quote:
Originally Posted by CitizenBBN
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Just to enhance them, and in memory of James Earl Jones, imagine his voice when reading them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darrell KSR
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...and George Carlin...Quote:
Originally Posted by blueboss
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hike.
Hike who?
Unsuspecting son
Dad waiting with bated breath
Sets the perfect trap
…or Steven Wright.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darrell KSR
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THAT's the one. Perfect with his delivery.Quote:
Originally Posted by blueboss
I used to know this guy named Waldo, wore a striped shirt every day.
I asked him about it one time and he would only say that he didn’t want to be spotted.
I saw him live once, and the crowd, including me were generally one or two observations behind… he’d pause from time to time so everyone could catch up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darrell KSR
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Now we're talking my language....Quote:
Originally Posted by blueboss
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.
I’d kill to win a Nobel Peace prize.Quote:
Originally Posted by CitizenBBN
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The other night I.... no, wait, that wasn't me.
I’ll never forget this one time I went out with a woman who owned her own taser. She was stunning.
Never blame others for the road you’re on, it’s your own asphalt.
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They did a study on how people left my favorite bar.
The results were staggering.
Why did the Viking buy a secondhand boat?
He couldn’t a fjord a new one
I was in a bookstore yesterday and this disgruntled employee was jerking all the Stephen King novels off the shelf. As I wondered why IT hit me.
Finally rain in the forecast, I hope to wake up to rain in the morning.
I’ve only cut my grass three times since mid July.
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I kept looking for the pun. Sigh. Been a long day.Quote:
Originally Posted by blueboss
Sorry, I’ve been taking steps to overcome my addiction to hiking…Quote:
Originally Posted by Darrell KSR
I’m not out of the woods yet.
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I made the mistake of going to Cabela’s in the middle of a boat accessory sale. It was quite the oar deal.
Yesterday was a long day, good news for this area, we are getting a nice soaking from Francine’s remnants. Having said that, it’s a nice start and we could use more sooner than later.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darrell KSR
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Have you guys ever tried CBD-infused toilet paper? I was kind of skeptical but after the South Carolina game my wife said I needed to calm my ass down.
:sHa_clap2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Catfan73
You may email SToops to see if he knows anything about it. With his head up his ass so far this season he has some expertise.... ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Catfan73
Oh that is so good.Quote:
Originally Posted by Catfan73
I guess I’ll have to stop since I finally found one you guys like lol
I concede…
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Don't y'all give up yet.
Ok one more…
I was researching the Jackson family, I got back as far as the civil war, then I hit a Stonewall
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I’ve heard it said that everyone in hell will be bald. Hence the term hell toupee.
You were slowly building up some chips on this thread, until this one. You're back in a hole again. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Catfan73
A three legged dog walks into a bar, the bartender says “can I help you”? The dog says “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw”
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueboss
OK, if we're going there....
Horse walks into a bar, bartender asks "why the long face?"
Go with the classics I always say
You know, I’ve always wanted to learn sign language.
It looks pretty handy.
Accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes, now I have Heinzsite.
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