Re: Stupid Joke of the Day
I laughed as hard as I have in a while at that last one, which is probably more comment on me than it, but I liked that one. Noe Schitt-Sherlock, that's funny.
Re: Stupid Joke of the Day
Of all the blonde jokes...
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game. They had great seats 4 rows up behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like ... Hellooo? It's only 25 cents!
Re: Stupid Joke of the Day
Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and
gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Computer really messed up now."
Re: Stupid Joke of the Day
A rich Arab walks into a bar and is about to order a drink, when he sees a guy close by wearing a Jewish cap, a
prayer shawl/tzitzis and traditional locks of hair.
He doesn't have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is Jewish.
So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear,
"Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Jew over there."
Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Jew gives him a big smile,
waves at him, then says, "Thank you !" in an equally loud voice.
This infuriates the Arab.
He once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Jew.
As before, this does not seem to bother the Jewish guy.
He continues to smile, and again yells, "Thank you !"
He does this once again for the third time, but not the Jew again
The Arab gets real cranky so he asks the bartender,
" What the hell is the matter with that Jew ?”
I've ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar all 100 of them
but him, and all the silly bugger does is smile and thank me. Is he nuts ? "
"Nope," replies the bartender. "He owns the place.”
Re: Stupid Joke of the Day
A guy goes into the US postal service to apply for a job.....
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Disabled in your country's service! Well that qualifies for extra bonus points. Okay. Looking at the regulations you have got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"
"This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our nuts.. No point in you coming in for that."