Football Program In Jeopardy After High School Allocates $500,000 To ‘Little Women’

LOWELL, MA—In a huge blow to the already neglected varsity team, the Lowell High School football program found its future season in jeopardy this week after administrators allocated $500,000 of school funds to the theater department’s upcoming production of Little Women. “We’re worried about the future of the program. It just seems like the school district never sees the value of investing in the athletic department,” said football parent Meredith McCoy, who confirmed that the team would have to raise money for new balls this year because of the excess spending by the drama department on authentic 19th-century dresses and handcrafted reproductions of furniture from 1868.

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Read the rest at The Onion:

https://sports.theonion.com/football...ate-1837438643

As a theatre buff as much as a sports buff, I got a good chuckle out of that story.

Cute story but the author should have said the theater department got $10,000 or something to make it more believable. Most high school sports are funded thru ticket sales, fundraisers, and donations/advertising from the community anyway. You would know, selling those oranges lol!

Ugh. Don't remind me. I had 8 years of that. This will be a glorious year without it, thankfully.

Honestly in Massachusetts it's not completely unbelievable. The Onion should have put it in Alabama or Texas or anywhere in the South. Now that would be absurd.