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"I am excited to be coming to the University of Kentucky," Globaly said. "Although it is over 4,000 miles from home, I have fallen in love with Coach Cal and the Wildcats, and want to play for him."
Globaly, who plays in the M. Agin Airy (MAA) League and averaged 35 ppg, 11 rebounds, and 18 assists, speaks six languages fluently. Although he was the most highly sought prospect in the MAA League, Globaly refused to be compensated, as he is heir to the Mozambiquian throne, and is a genuine fanciful Prince worth billions.
Coach Calipari was ecstatic over his new recruit. "Moises is the kind of kid you dream about," John Calipari inventively explained. "I went to sleep last night a little down that we were not in our usual place, playing in the Final Four, and then Moises was conceived, and he was almost unreal. Dreamy, certainly. He insisted on me promising to be at UK for 10 more years, as he has brothers that are committing to play for me and Kentucky as well.
Kentucky was aided in the recruiting process by the equestrian department and Keeneland according to Globaly, and moreover, although Globaly is a fantastical prospect, he has no desire to go to the NBA now, or ever. "My father wishes to introduces horses to our countryside," Globaly explained. "I enjoy basketball, but I have no desire to play past my four years in college, as I want to take my equestrian degree and help set up the horse farms like we see around Lexington. But first, I want to win four NCAA titles and have my brothers follow me to win 10 more after that."
Following the success of Kentucky's shortest point guard, Tyler Ulis, at 5'9, at 7'1, Globaly is believed to be the tallest point guard in the University of Kentucky's storied history, and the tallest point guard ever to play in the college or pro game. He is reported to jump out of this world, and his 69.8% shooting from way, way, beyond the arc was unheard of in the M. Agin Airy League, and stretched the imagination and zone defenses to points neither could comfortably rest. But perhaps his greatest asset is his court vision, pinpoint passing, and incredible unselfishness. Globaly's "aw, shucks" attitude about it belies his true abilities.
Kentucky's recruiting class instantly became the # 1 class of all time, surpassing their all-time record class with just one recruit that is almost unimaginable. "Globaly is an unthinkable, and implausible recruit who has been so illusive he has never made our recruiting rankings," one recruiting analyst who asked not to be named said. "But that doesn't mean he isn't a phantasmagorical player, because he is exactly that."
Kentucky has scheduled a 2:00 p.m. "special announcement" press conference for all of the details. Rumor has it that not only will the announcement make fools of the entire college basketball world with Globaly's commitment, but it will also include the return of Tyler Ulis, for the greatest 1-2 backcourt height disparity in basketball history at any level.
Perhaps of greater news for Kentucky fans is that Globaly is not alone. "My little brother, Dubious is a little better than I am," Globaly said. The Dubious story is that he's a little bigger, at 7'4, and shoots a little better inside and out than Moises. "It's Dubious that really wants to come to UK," Globaly said. "I'm just getting there a little before the Dubious player (and our younger brothers) hit the bluegrass."
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