CGWildcat
06-25-2019, 06:36 PM
Hey friends. I know there's not a lot of traffic here so I figure this is a place to just let it out.
My ex-wife, the mother of my 2 adult children is about to pass. She's not been given but hours at this point. Cancer. SKIN cancer....she had an ugly mole on her leg, about 5-6 yrs ago she waited about 2-3 months to get checked. I've been mad at her for waiting so long to get checked. By the time she did, it was at stage 3.
We divorced in '98 after 12 yrs together. I've hated her for oh so long, but really think I was just hating myself and used her to make me feel better. I'm just trying to help my kids with it all and be respectful for them. She's remarried, very nice guy, was always nice to my kids.
She and I sorta made our peace in 2015 at my son's wedding. We laughed, joked, told stories and hugged at the end of the night. She had the cancer then, had multiple surgeries by that time and was walking with a cane and sometimes just a wheelchair.
Doctors told her they felt like they got most of it from her lymph nodes in '14, but melanoma is mean, it will show back up. Late last year it did. It's rapidly shown back up, and in just a few months has wrapped its ugliness on her spine, ribs and legs. She's been unable to walk at all for about a month.
My kids went to her bedside in Ohio last week to help her enjoy her 54th birthday. Today I wake up to my daughter looking for someone to care for their animals while they drive to Ohio.
My daughter wrote me and said "Moms not doing good. She's no longer responsive, not eating, eyes dilated, low blood pressure....we aren't expecting her to make it to the end of the week." Then an hour later, she wrote again to say, funeral arrangements are being made, her sisters and parents and husband are with her. She's not expected to make it through the night.
I'm not mad anymore. I'm sad for so many things. She was a good woman, but we weren't right for each other. I was an ass. Too many differences and my mom told me I was going to marry her when she was pregnant with our daughter. Yesterday the 24th, would have been our 33 year anniversary, if I would have just realized what love looked like back then.
My relationship with my daughter is strained at best but amicable. Her mom felt obliged to tell her so much about our marriage. I've never uttered a word against her from the things she did. It doesn't matter.
I just keep telling my daughter how much I love her and I'm here anytime she wants to talk or just cry. My son is taking it hard also, but in a different way. He and I are closer.
Good night Teresa.
My ex-wife, the mother of my 2 adult children is about to pass. She's not been given but hours at this point. Cancer. SKIN cancer....she had an ugly mole on her leg, about 5-6 yrs ago she waited about 2-3 months to get checked. I've been mad at her for waiting so long to get checked. By the time she did, it was at stage 3.
We divorced in '98 after 12 yrs together. I've hated her for oh so long, but really think I was just hating myself and used her to make me feel better. I'm just trying to help my kids with it all and be respectful for them. She's remarried, very nice guy, was always nice to my kids.
She and I sorta made our peace in 2015 at my son's wedding. We laughed, joked, told stories and hugged at the end of the night. She had the cancer then, had multiple surgeries by that time and was walking with a cane and sometimes just a wheelchair.
Doctors told her they felt like they got most of it from her lymph nodes in '14, but melanoma is mean, it will show back up. Late last year it did. It's rapidly shown back up, and in just a few months has wrapped its ugliness on her spine, ribs and legs. She's been unable to walk at all for about a month.
My kids went to her bedside in Ohio last week to help her enjoy her 54th birthday. Today I wake up to my daughter looking for someone to care for their animals while they drive to Ohio.
My daughter wrote me and said "Moms not doing good. She's no longer responsive, not eating, eyes dilated, low blood pressure....we aren't expecting her to make it to the end of the week." Then an hour later, she wrote again to say, funeral arrangements are being made, her sisters and parents and husband are with her. She's not expected to make it through the night.
I'm not mad anymore. I'm sad for so many things. She was a good woman, but we weren't right for each other. I was an ass. Too many differences and my mom told me I was going to marry her when she was pregnant with our daughter. Yesterday the 24th, would have been our 33 year anniversary, if I would have just realized what love looked like back then.
My relationship with my daughter is strained at best but amicable. Her mom felt obliged to tell her so much about our marriage. I've never uttered a word against her from the things she did. It doesn't matter.
I just keep telling my daughter how much I love her and I'm here anytime she wants to talk or just cry. My son is taking it hard also, but in a different way. He and I are closer.
Good night Teresa.