Darrell KSR
02-06-2017, 07:28 AM
Inadequate staples and inadequate staplers.
Years ago I learned something important. All staples are not made equally. After having staples bend and jam in staplers, I noticed one day while going up and down the aisles in my local office supplies store that there were staples in a metal tin.
Screaming out on the front were the words, "Jam-Free."
Surely there was no difference, I thought. I mean...it's just a little piece of wire, right? Bent and sharpened, sorta, at the points, one staple is another is another. They look the same to me.
Au, contraire.
I splurged for the difference in price. Seemed like you could get, like 10,000 staples for $1.50, and this tin was like $8 for 3,750. Optima brand.
It changed my life. Or so I thought.
I then looked around. There were a bunch of staplers. Some of them had a plug out of the back.
Yes, electric.
How difficult is it to "mash" a stapler down so that it bends the thin piece of wire that must take all of ½ lb of pressure (note the use of the alt-key for the fraction.)
Apparently difficult enough that it made me purchase the electric stapler, too.
I know. How stupid, how silly, how lazy. Really, you're going to be so lazy you have to have a stapler do the work for you to bend the staple? Heck, they even make a mechanically-levered or spring-action one that makes the effort even less. Couldn't go that route instead, lazy guy?
Nope. Go big or go home.
I know it all sounds silly and stupid, but I really do have a "need" for these things. First, it makes life a little more enjoyable, a little more comfortable. The electric stapler is quicker than the manual stapler, if you're needing to staple more than one or two sets of papers. It's also very neat, and will staple it in almost identically the same place, if that's important--and occasionally, even if it isn't important, it's nice. Second, it's a little quicker, and buys me a little more time. Time to write posts like this, it appears, as I finish ahead of time with what I was doing today. And remember--not only am I using the electric stapler, but also the "jam-free" staples. No pulling them out of pages, and redoing the ugly mess, taking time, and excess holes in paper--and who wants that, anyway?
For me, it's even a little more relevant.
So...I do a lot of things last minute. It's the nature of my life. Work two "real" jobs, teach at two different universities, and volunteer, even though I've been out of coaching a couple of years now, on athletics boards and such.
The universities where I teach are very gracious, even as a lowly adjunct instructor, to have an administrative assistant for me. But I can't ask her to get up at 5 a.m. to run off 65 copies of the exam I wrote for that morning, collate and staple them. Yeah, I should have had that done last week. I know.
So I sit here at home, finish the exam, and run off the requisite copies.
Printer (subject of another thread--picking the right one for home office use like this, speed, appearance, reliability, and inexpensive cost to replace toner and drum) dutifully prints off 65 copies x 7 pages, or 455 pages.
Slip each 7-page packet under the electric stapler, and it magically staples, perfectly in the left corner, parallel to the top edge of the paper, making it neat in appearance, and secure in its hold.
And now I head off to class.
Next topic: How three A-to-Z sorters changed my life. This time, for real, I promise. Until the next item.
Bluetooth.
But I'm way ahead of myself.
See you after class.
Years ago I learned something important. All staples are not made equally. After having staples bend and jam in staplers, I noticed one day while going up and down the aisles in my local office supplies store that there were staples in a metal tin.
Screaming out on the front were the words, "Jam-Free."
Surely there was no difference, I thought. I mean...it's just a little piece of wire, right? Bent and sharpened, sorta, at the points, one staple is another is another. They look the same to me.
Au, contraire.
I splurged for the difference in price. Seemed like you could get, like 10,000 staples for $1.50, and this tin was like $8 for 3,750. Optima brand.
It changed my life. Or so I thought.
I then looked around. There were a bunch of staplers. Some of them had a plug out of the back.
Yes, electric.
How difficult is it to "mash" a stapler down so that it bends the thin piece of wire that must take all of ½ lb of pressure (note the use of the alt-key for the fraction.)
Apparently difficult enough that it made me purchase the electric stapler, too.
I know. How stupid, how silly, how lazy. Really, you're going to be so lazy you have to have a stapler do the work for you to bend the staple? Heck, they even make a mechanically-levered or spring-action one that makes the effort even less. Couldn't go that route instead, lazy guy?
Nope. Go big or go home.
I know it all sounds silly and stupid, but I really do have a "need" for these things. First, it makes life a little more enjoyable, a little more comfortable. The electric stapler is quicker than the manual stapler, if you're needing to staple more than one or two sets of papers. It's also very neat, and will staple it in almost identically the same place, if that's important--and occasionally, even if it isn't important, it's nice. Second, it's a little quicker, and buys me a little more time. Time to write posts like this, it appears, as I finish ahead of time with what I was doing today. And remember--not only am I using the electric stapler, but also the "jam-free" staples. No pulling them out of pages, and redoing the ugly mess, taking time, and excess holes in paper--and who wants that, anyway?
For me, it's even a little more relevant.
So...I do a lot of things last minute. It's the nature of my life. Work two "real" jobs, teach at two different universities, and volunteer, even though I've been out of coaching a couple of years now, on athletics boards and such.
The universities where I teach are very gracious, even as a lowly adjunct instructor, to have an administrative assistant for me. But I can't ask her to get up at 5 a.m. to run off 65 copies of the exam I wrote for that morning, collate and staple them. Yeah, I should have had that done last week. I know.
So I sit here at home, finish the exam, and run off the requisite copies.
Printer (subject of another thread--picking the right one for home office use like this, speed, appearance, reliability, and inexpensive cost to replace toner and drum) dutifully prints off 65 copies x 7 pages, or 455 pages.
Slip each 7-page packet under the electric stapler, and it magically staples, perfectly in the left corner, parallel to the top edge of the paper, making it neat in appearance, and secure in its hold.
And now I head off to class.
Next topic: How three A-to-Z sorters changed my life. This time, for real, I promise. Until the next item.
Bluetooth.
But I'm way ahead of myself.
See you after class.